The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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