recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
