you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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