forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
