just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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