How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
