You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
