So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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