I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
