What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Holy shit dude........stairs
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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