everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
