Pappa wants mamma naked
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
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