What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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