we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
