"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
