youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Randomize
