Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
