Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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