He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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