Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
