There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
