I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
