Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
