Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
