just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
You took a bar mat shot.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
