I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
