You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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