hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize