seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize