Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
