hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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