I hate all girls vehemently.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
