real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
