apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize