I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Even the bartender felt bad for me
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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