were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize