I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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