but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
