So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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