hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I have post one night stand depression
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