Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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