So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize