So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
