I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
