we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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