No awkward lesbian experiences without me
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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