Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
