That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize