look no pants
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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