Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
