let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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