ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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