Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
