Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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