Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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