the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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