just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
