um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
