I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
